I’m sure like all new expectant mothers I am facing some of the typical fears that come within the first few weeks of finding out you are carrying a precious life inside of you.
First of all I am worried because I don’t really feel different, or pregnant. At almost 6 weeks I don’t really have many symptoms. I don’t have morning sickness, I’ve never thrown up, and I can eat most things. I do have some weird food aversions. I use to eat one piece of chocolate after lunch and one after dinner as sweet treat. Now, I don’t really feel like it. Very strange for me. I am a HUGE veggie eater but lately they just haven’t sounded appealing. I’ve forced myself to eat them rather than the carbs and dairy I crave but they aren’t my go to food right now. I guess I’m a little more tired than usual but I still have surprisingly normal energy. Just don’t tell anyone I’m sleeping by 9pm. Really the only other thing I’m experiencing is I am really warm, all the time! I am usually a cold person but not now. I also have to get up once a night to use the bathroom. I guess I just thought I would feel different.
Secondly I’m afraid that all the awful, debilitating symptoms I’ve read about will hit me at the worst possible time, 1 week from now when I am in charge of 15 young people on our church’s annual mission trip. I’ve have been looking forward to this trip all year and I just don’t want to feel like crap during the whole week.
Of course I am afraid of miscarriage. I’m glad we told so many people our good news. Everyone is so excited for us and of course we are excited and full of anticipation. It would just be heart breaking to lose this baby. I especially don’t want anything “bad” to happen while I am away on the mission trip.
I am also a little worried about money. We do not live a life of luxury. We also don’t live check to check but still it’s not like we are rolling in the dough. We manage pretty well as a two people (and a dog) I just don’t know how the added expense of a baby will affect us or how I’ll feel about having to work once the baby is born. But I guess you have to do what you have to do and somehow it will all work out.
So yeah, these are the thoughts that flit through my mind after I’ve woken up to use the bathroom and can’t fall asleep.